'The Voice' Coaches Go Chasing 'Waterfalls' But Should Stick To The Rivers & Lakes They're Used To

In case you weren’t aware, season 12 of the music competition show The Voice premieres on NBC tonight. In past seasons, the series has showcased talented singers such as Javier Colon, Jermaine Paul, Frenchie Davis, Judith HillTessanne Chin and Kimberly Nichole. Though the show is geared more towards the superstar coaches, their antics and any new music they have to promote any given season than the actual contestants and winners, we can’t wait to see this year’s talent hit the stage. Speaking of coaches, the show recently rolled out a promotional video featuring this season's lineup of Alicia Keys, Adam Levine, Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton covering the TLC classic “Waterfalls.” With all of the faux enthusiasm of a “Kumbaya” circle, the four engage in a somewhat rousing yet disappointing rendition of the 1994 hit song.

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On a studio set reminiscent of a boho coffee shop, the celeb coaches strum our pain with their fingers, each singing a line from the song, adding their own twang to it to make it their own. Alicia and Gwen decided to split Left Eye's rap verse, giving an okay delivery. However, just when you think things are over and they’ll put you out of your misery, Levine decides to end things on an awkward high note by giving us a pitchy wail at the end, to which Alicia and Gwen give him the thumbs up. They are so evil. They gassed this man up to give a Howard Dean yell, like it would make the performance lit. Adam Levine closes out the performance on an even more ludicrous note by proclaiming, “That’s how you sing, America!”

It is stupefying how you can have four talented superstars who have sold millions of records come together to record a mediocre cover of a classic song that, in truth, really doesn’t require that much effort. Unfortunately, while there is talent in spades on that stage, somehow the charisma was left on the cutting room floor. In all of these proceedings, we’re most disappointed in Mrs. Alicia Keys-Dean. It’s almost like someone said “Wow! You’ve been doing well with these last couple of loosies, 'That's What's Up' and 'Sweet F-n Love.' In fact, they’re too much like right. Come over here and join us in this wild hot bulls**t.” “Okay!” Alicia exclaimed.

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Now that the judges have set the bar low for the contestants, we can hopefully go on to be shocked, amazed and delightfully entertained by this year's batch of hopefuls. The Voice premieres with three nights of Blind Auditions this week, so tune in to see the next big thing and the coashes try to prop up their careers.

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