I woke up today in a bit of a foul mood. Little did I know that I would be cheered up by the most unexpected source. Thanks to Diddy, Lil Wayne, and Justin Timberlake, I can now credit all three of them to providing me with the biggest guttural laugh I've had in quite some time. Take a listen to "Shades" below and then join me after the bounce for my thoughts.
- Is that Lil Wayne doing spoken word in the beginning of this track? Yes.
- Are "I'll pour a gallon of gasoline on my heart just to light your cigarette," "Make sure you put your panties in your pocketbook" and "I'll even take off my shades and stare at the sun from the stage" lines that work on anyone these days? Yes? My apologies. Carry on.
- I've never made love on marmalade, but it can't be hygienic for any parties involved.
- Is this track really almost six minutes long?
- What is Justin Timberlake's purpose in this song? Street cred?
At best, this track sounds like it was the brain child of codeine syrup and a post-after party thought of "Hey! We should all do a track together! Like right now!" The funny and sad and ironic part of all of this is that the only person who sounds appropriate on this track is Justin Timberlake. Why? Because his section of the track sounds exactly like Timbaland-produced "My Love" which I actually loved.
If anything this song sounds like the aftermath of an accident. Maybe that's the point. In any case, to all of you who may like this song or label me a hater, it's not hate. I just don't like it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find some opiates, a pole dancer, and a MPC machine to go create an ode to my right big toe which is only slightly more interesting that this song.