Even When Mariah Wins...She Loses

Oh, Mariah. I was all set to say congratulations on the win at last night's Palm Springs International Film Festival awards show as Breakthrough Artist for your role in the motion picture Precious. I was elated that your plain-jane, restrained performance was acknowledged, and that all of your hard work paid off. And then...I witnessed your acceptance speech. If that's what you want to call it. Clearly, you were steady sipping on the bubbly before taking the stage. I mean, part of me can't blame you. I wouldn't be expecting to win, either. Especially after Glitter. Heh. But um, what took place when you did take the stage? Wow. Just...wow. I mean, there's nerves, and then there's this. Here's to hoping you're better prepared at the Golden Globes. You know, just in case...

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