Five Jacksons Reality Shows We Would Watch

Word on the streets is that A&E is all set to air a reality series featuring the Jackson family. Keep in mind, before the collective snickering begins, that this show was already being taped prior to Michael‘s death in anticipation of all the brothers reuniting. After his death, the brothers agreed to allow cameras to document their time spent during their grieving process. Curiosity couldn’t keep me away from this series, and best believe my DVR will be set to whenever it airs.  However, to me, there are much more interesting premises that could be set up to “stage” a Jackson reality show. Just for fun (truly no disrespect intended to anyone), join us after the bounce as we list a few that we’d definitely watch.

  • Jermaine’s Mane–I know you’ve all been thinking it, but for the sake of his grief, have neglected to speak out about Jermaine Jackson’s hair. It’s slick, it’s curved…it’s a fancy mohawk with handles. This show would uncover the secret of his redress, going behind the scenes and putting his hairdresser under the hot comb microscope, to find out what they were thinking when they recommended that ‘do to the former J5 member. Episode titles under discussion include: “Why Won’t It Catch On?,” “The Day I Got Booed at a Dodger Game,” and “Who Wants To Be A Million-hair?”
  • 3T: Unplugged–We all know that most of the Jacksons are talented. Look no further than Tito‘s sons, who collectively formed the group 3T back in the 90s. Sure, they weren’t a huge success, even with their uncle’s support, but they could hold a tune. Wouldn’t we want to see what they’re working on, or at least where they’re working now? If I’m VH1, I’d put this on right after Real Chance I Might Puke and right before For The Love of Everything Holy, Ray-J Has Another Show? Just to give those guys a “real chance” for their lives to seem normal by comparison. Episode titles under discussion include: “Back in the Lab,” “Back in the Lab: Still Nothing,” and “What Now.”
  • Jackie Jackson’s True Jackson 5 Stories–Of course, the oldest Jackson brother should get his own show. And who wouldn’t be entranced by his stories of life on the road, Jacksons style? Move over, Charlie Murphy. Jackie’s got stories, too. We’d hopefully hear about Jackie‘s encounters with other celebrities, the rivalries that surely existed, whether on the basketball court or beyond, what he really felt about the Osmond brothers, and most importantly, his daliances with the ladies. I think I could watch this. Every week. Episode titles under discussion include: “The Day I Dunked on Jimmy Osmond,” “Letting Go of the Fro,” and “The Blouses Come Off at Night.”
  • Me and Dupri–Imagine if Janet let cameras follow her and Jermaine Dupri around before their breakup last month. You wouldn’t want to watch how it all unfolded and fell apart like an old Roots album title? Really?!?! I would. Alas, there were no cameras, so we’ll never know. Unless, maybe, it was caught on tape. Hmmmm…
  • La Toya Alrighty–What if we followed La Toya Jackson around as she ran errands in Beverly Hills, or lobbied for speaking engagements leveraging the Jackson name and, once booked, had to fight for her money after sponsors refused to pay once they discovered she had nothing to say, and as she attempted another album? Wait, the best part of the show would be that it would all be narrated by Morgan Freeman! Sample narration: “La Toya started the day with good intentions, but just like every other day, her attempts at balancing her checkbook were usurped by her inane longing for a pony. Most people would reconsider. But this is LaToya we’re talking about, so…” Episode titles under discussion include: “C Major, La Toya Minor,” “Sponsor Better Have My Check,” and “LaLayaway.” Man, book this one right now. Ratings would be through the roof!

Happy Friday, people.

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