Is There A Way To Make Sure This Dumbass Never Sells Records Again?

f--- this n----You know what? If you plan on excusing Soulja Boy's garbage-ass statement about slavery then I wish for you never to visit this site again. It's totally worth the loss. I have had it with this child. Granted, he's an easy target, but I honestly didn't think it could get any worse. Also, although we tend to have a little fun at the expense of certain artists, this is one of those times where I've been angered and personally offended. As a Black man. And I am rather pissed off that (1) he exists, and (2) he's been given a pass by so many otherwise intelligent figures in Hip Hop, just because he's "young" and "having fun". He needs his behind whooped by one of those Southern Baptist Big Momma's that didn't tolerate this level of ignorance.

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And by the way, I realize we're supposed to be keeping it positive and soulful, but I am taking advantage of my Executive Privilege today. Deal with it.

So here's what Touré tells us (It basically unfolds like a horror story):

Last week in Atlanta, I got to interview Soulja Boy Tell Em. I found out just how young he really is. He was one of about ten rappers I interviewed in one day for my BET show, The Black Carpet. I decided it'd be fun to give all the rappers part of the Proust questionnaire. I thought it'd be a way to get beyond image and into who they really are. Most of the guys gave good, thoughtful, intelligent, sensitive answers. I asked Juelz Santana, "How would you like to die?" He said, "Loved."

Then came Soulja Boy Tell Em. I asked him, "What historical figure do you most hate?" He was stumped. I said, "Others have said Hitler, bin Laden, the slave masters..." He said, "Oh wait! Hold up! Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we'd still be in Africa."

My jaw, at this point, was on the ground."We wouldn't be here," he continued, having no idea how far in it he'd stepped, "to get this ice and tattoos."

Wow. Never mind that diamonds come from Africa. Never mind that there were many generations of pain in between leaving Africa and getting diamonds. Never mind that the long-term cataclysmic effects of subtracting about tens of millions of young, strong people from Africa over the course of a couple of centuries is a large part of the reason why Africa now appears so distasteful to you. Never mind all that, Soulja Boy. You put country first.

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I am seriously hoping this is a joke, but I fear it is not. This the same person who, at seventeen-years-old, released a song to nationwide, mainstream acclaim in which he chants about ejaculating on a young lady's (no, I'm sorry, he refers to them as "hoes") back and sticking a sheet to her. At seventeen.

At the risk of being called a "hater" this fool needs his entire career and cashflow revoked. Seriously. I continue to be astounded by how anyone that projects this kind of reckless ignorance can be rewarded with money. Even if it is an act, it's not cool, cute or funny. I'm guessing Touré asked him about historical figures because he maybe thought Soulja Boy, still being a teen and all, would have some recent recollection of what he learned in History class, and was perhaps providing him with an opportunity to show the world that he wasn't a complete wad. No dice. This boy is an coon of the highest degree and an embarrassment to Black people. I feel sorry for anyone that shares DNA with him.

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The irony in all of this is that Soulja Boy doesn't realize that he himself is still a slave. You know, since he's getting paid to be a mascot for Black ignorance and also making someone else rich in the process. Isn't he signed to some boutique label as part of Interscope? Eventhough I myself have never been to Africa, everyone I know that has gone has returned ten times smarter. Picture that. So here's my recipe for "fixing" Soulja Boy:

  • Have a bunch of angry Black women beat him down. He needs perspective.
  • Lock him in a room with some books. Maybe he'll read one. It's worth a shot.
  • Send him to Africa.
  • Have Africans beat him down.
  • Leave him in Africa for a long time without access to his money, Youtube, or his "ice".
  • Have the Africans beat him down again.
  • Never allow him to return to America.

No, seriously. someone needs to whoop his ass.

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