From The Comfort Of The SoulBounce Couch: Live-Blogging The 2007 VH1 Hip Hop Honors

2007_vh1_hhh.JPG9:58    Welcome to the first SoulBounce live blog! I cannot wait for this year's Hip Hop Honors to come on but...

9:59    Whose idea was it to have Hip Hop Honors premiere after I Love New York 2? That person needs to get dealt with. Somebody please get this broad and these nuts vying for her infections off of my TV screen quickly.

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10:00   Tracy Morgan is a fool! Somebody please check his SCRAM.

10:01   Why is T-Pain gonna be on this show? I see myself getting mad when he appears on my TV screen.

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10:05   The first honoree is Missy Elliott.

10:06   I see Kerry Washington bought some hair.

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10:07   Missy did all that with the word bitch? The hell is Kerry Washington talkin' 'bout?

10:08   Time for Missy's video segment. Welcome back to Team Chunk, girl.

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10:08   I'm gonna need that Prince t-shirt she's rockin', though.

10:10   Please sahdown, Kerry. I know you were in Saved the Last Dance and all but you are getting on my nerves now.

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10:11   The performance segment is kicking off with Tweet singing "The Rain." Her hair is not super dooper fly.

10:12   What do you know, there's Timbaland in a tight shirt looking all swole.

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10:12   Missy loves some little dancing children. No Michael Jackson.

10:13   Go head, Eve. She's killin' her "Hot Boyz" verse.

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10:14   Go home, Keyshia Cole.

10:14   If Nelly Furtado falls down those stairs!!

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10:14   Where'd Nelly F. get all that trunk junk from??

10:15   I can't see Fatman Scoop without thinking about Man and Wife TV. That is such an unsavory thought.

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10:15   Is that the Grim Reaper dancing on stage? Oh no, it's just Ciara.

10:15   I'm poppin my thang to "Lose Control" as I type this.

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10:21   Here comes Daddy Diddy to kick off the New Jack Swing portion of the evening.

10:22   Diddy is biggin' up Teddy Riley and Mr., Andre Harrell.

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10:23   Wow, Andre coined the term ghetto fabulous. Thanks, I think.

10:24   Teddy Riley rocking a baldy? Not a good look when your head has corners.

10:25   "PUT SOME CHAMPAGNE IN THE GAME!" Thanks for my new mantra, Andre.

10:25   Lawd, I love New Jack Swing!

10:26    AW NAW, HELL NAW! T-Pain is in the NJS tribute?

10:27    Get it, Doug E. Fresh!  Dag I can't wop and type at the same time!

10:28    AW HELL TO THE NAW! T-Pain sitchononsingingbooboothefoollookingass down!

10:28    If I was Keith Sweat and had to listen to T-Pain butcher my song like that I'd be nice and pissed right now.

10:29    Why is T-Pain still singing? Take me now, Lord! TAKE ME NOW!

10:29    I'd be mad if I was Ne-Yo and had to follow that clown.

10:30    Ne-Yo is doing "I Like" justice. I aint mad.

10:31    Oh my damn! Kool Moe Dee! Welcome to Team Chunk to you, too.

10:31    LL Cool J is somewhere laughing his tight abs off right now. 

10:36    Oh Lawd...a skit with Tracy Morgan as a cab driver. This should be good.

10:37    OK, not so much.

10:37    Salt-N-Pepa's here! Along with Pep's new pinched nose.

10:38    I'm confused...didn't they just do they New Jack Swing tribute?

10:38    Ne-Yo's back and he's remembering the time.

10:38    Oh God, Keyshia Cole is back, too. Is her mic turned on? If so, please turn it off. She looks great but sounds a hot mess.

10:39    Aw shucks, a 1/2 of Blackstreet reunion.

10:40    Aw damn, Teddy Riley is all winded and ish. I hope that a medic is backstage with some oxygen.

10:41    RUMPSHAKER! Excuse break!

10:42    Oh no, Teddy Riley is doing his rap from "Rumpshaker" at like half the speed. Bless his heart.

10:48    Why does Tracy Morgan have that hot ass shearling coat on?

10:50    Heeeeeey, Uncle L. Please sutograph a copy of your fitness book to Kool Moe Desserts.

10:51    Time for the Wild Style video segment.

10:51    I need to know where Charlie Ahearn got that blinged out Wild Style t-shirt from, too.

10:52    Fab 5 Freddy looks the same as he did 25 years ago. How old is he anyway? He's the Black Dick Clark.

10:53    That basketball court scene in Wild Style is truly a classic.

10:53    I'm loving these old photos and footage from early 80's NYC.

10:54    Grandmaster Caz from the Cold Crush Brothers, KRS-One, Chief Rocker Busy Bee and Grand Wizard Theodore are about the kill it. I feel it coming on.

10:54    Did LL just say reciprient??

10:55    Go head, Busy Bee. I see you rockin' the mic right.

10:55    Those b-boys better get it!

10:56    The Blastmaster! Love how KRS incorporated Jena 6 into his rap. Hotness.

10:57   Aw damn, KRS-One's 2004 Hip Hop Honors medal just broke off of the ribbon it was on.  Good thing it didn't fly off into the crowd.

10:58    Go head, Grandmaster Caz. THIS IS HIP HOP!

10:58    "I'm old school, but I'm still in my prime." I know that's right, Caz!

11:01    Tracy Morgan is back at it in another cab skit. Next!

11:02    Chris Rock is announcing the Whodini segment.

11:04    Whodini was oh so sexy in their prime. I'm gonna need them to explain what happened.   

11:07   I'm hating that I missed the Fresh Fest back in the day.

11:07   Oh snap, UTFO used to be dancers for Whodini? You learn something new everyday.

11:08   Here comes another Whodini dancer from back in the day, Jermaine Dupri, in their tribute.

11:08    Nelly and Nick Cannon are in this tribute, too? Ohhhkaaay.

11:08    Nick Cannon looks corny but he sounds kinda hot on "Funky Beat." Excuse me!

11:09    Nelly surprisingly sounds decent doing "One Love." Color me surprised.

11:09   I do need this dancing chick to sahdown, though. I'm getting a yeast infection just looking at how tight her clothes are.

11:10    "Five Minutes Of Funk" with Jermaine Dupri. He sounds damn good, too.

11:11    Aw sooky sooky! Whodini is taking the stage! Y'all better get it, Ecstasy and Jalil.


11:12   They are rockin' the house with "The Freaks Come Out At Night." Love it!

11:13   Who is this random dude on stage with Whodini?

11:14   DANCE BREAK! Even Nelly is doin' the wop.

11:14   Oh snap! Jermane Dupri did a little breakdancing move. He still got it.

11:15   Grandmaster Dee is cutting up on the wheels steel.

11:15   Some big dudes picked Grandmaster up and carried him off the stage! And he was STILL scratchin'! I love it!

   Why don't DJ's call themselves Grandmaster anymore? I think I'm gonna start calling myself Grandmaster Butta. OK, OK, Grandmistress Butta. LOL

11:20   It's time for the felon's portion of the evening.

11:21   Harvey Keitel is introducing Snoop Dogg. HARVEY KEITEL?

11:22   The first record Snoop bought was the 45 of "Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward. Something is so wrong yet so right about that.

11:24   I'm still not understanding Harvey Keitel's purpose here.

11:25   B.G. and T.I. are kicking the Snoop tribute off. "Cause it's 187 on an undercover cop."

11:26   Pharrell is flowing quite nicely on "Aint Nuthin But A G Thang."

11:26   Where the hell did Daz appear from? He just popped up outta the floor. Hilarity.

11:27   No Ice T didn't just C-Walk onto the stage. He's sippin' on "Gin & Juice" right now.

11:28   WESTSIDE!

11:32   Yet another Tracy Morgan taxi cab skit.

11:33    Harvey Keitel AGAIN? Did I miss something? Is he homies with Snoop now?

11:34   Part two of the Snoop tribute. Look at Lil Bow Wow trying to act all hard. Ciara ain't studyin' you, homie.

   Snoop comes out to help him with "What's My Name." Show him how it's done, Snoop Dizzle.

11:35   Here comes Skateboard P to "Drop It Like It's Hot."

11:36   Snoop is flowing on his verse in his 4X lumberjack shirt.

11:37    The Tribe Called Quest segment kicks off after the commercial break. I've been waiting for this allll day.

11:42   Tracy Morgan is back in a velvet coat. I'm hot just looking at him.

11:43   Aw yeah! Aw yeah! Here comes ATCQ.

11:44   Awwwwwww...look at Phife looking all sickly. Bless his heart. Pray for him tonight, y'all.
11:45   I see you Jairobi!

11:45   Native Tongues got rhymes galore!

11:47   Common kicks it off with "Bonita Applebum"!

11:47    What the devil do these dancers have on? They need some chicks in headwraps and mudcloth. That's how Tribe woulda done back in the dizzay. 

11:48   Pharrell AGAIN? He's sounding good, though, on "Electric Relaxation" so I'm not mad.

11:49   BOO, Lupe Fiasco, BOOOOOOO! No this aggin didn't chuckle when he forgot the lyrics?? He officially gets the gas face.

11:49   Look at Common acting all hard and what not on "Scenario."

11:50   Busta Rhymes is a little thick in the waist but he came out full force on his "Scenario" verse. LOVE IT!

11:50   What in the world is Busta saying? I think he's saying his lyrics but it's sounding like a foreign language right about now.

11:56    A Tribe Called Quest is closing the show. I'm in heaven right now.

11:56   Put your fists up for hip hop!

11:56   What is Consequence doing up there? Sahdown if you're just taking up space.

11:57   "Check The Ryhme," y'all! Oh snap, Phife is kicking his verse and doesn't sound as bad as he looks. He's still on my prayer list, though.

11:58   We on "Award Tour" with Mohammed my man!!  Q-Tip is killing it and Ali Shaheed Mohammed is rocking the wheels of steel! This is truly incredible.

12:00   Aw man! Here come the credits. I don't want this to end!

12:00   Go head, Phife! Buddy, buddy, buddy, all up in my face!

12:01   The crowd is going bananas up in the Hammerstein Ballroom.

12:01   Oh no! The credits are done rolling. It's a wrap on this year's VH1 Hip Hop Honors, y'all. It's been fun! See ya at the next SoulBounce live blog!

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